Saturday, 30 March 2013
Monday, 18 March 2013
Birthday,boy stuff & bickering.......
It was my birthday.....I'm so not a birthday person ...but... i think seeing for most of my milestone birthdays i have been pregnant... i might have a MASSIVE 40th.....but I'm only 35.
Its hard i share my birthday with my beautiful sister so never really had a day "to myself" really. I also make sure the boys celebrate their days but i just view it as another day really. I'm not too hung up on "getting older" 40 excites me...i think i have more energy now that what i had when i was 20....sounds weird but i think the craziness of having 4 boys keeps me very active.....mind you I'm sleep deprived and have been for about 4 years now....YAWN.
experienced my first year 8 Marist parent teacher yesterday HOLY MOLEY!!!! talk about organised. and run like every 7 mins i got gonged to move onto my next teacher that took me more than 7 minutes to fine....yikes. So i was late SHOCK HORROR...i had my list off teacher in my hand and basically ran to the gym....great sight i can tell you that. first meeting MATHS my fav subject...NOT.
great teacher went through toms maths test that 150% went straight over my head ,but i smiled and nodded like i was the maths genius i am....he he.
Cut a long story short the reasoning behind Tom making me see all 6 teachers was because he got a glowing report....whew praise the lord. and is getting a B in every subject ...double Whew!!!! his was done....thank goodness.
Then i had to pick up Jonah who had been to swimming with grandad as i couldn't be in 2 places at the one time....I am good...but unfortunately I'm not that good.
so grabbed him dropped them home then got straight back into the car for Jonah's parent teacher interview...i actually had 5 mins spare waiting so of course i check facebook and check my emails...thank you IPHONE for making my life a tiny bit easier......Jonahs interview great also talked about extending him with his reading etc so all was good i even took a few notes on my scrappy piece of paper i had the whole afternoon's events scribbled on and also Eli;s scribble that i had to read through...looked like a dogs breakfast...got home Dave was finishing up dinner he had sent my mum home who i think was ready to be committed after having Eli and Tate for 2 hours for me....note to self split those two up.
i missed dinner...whoops. had a cuppa tea does that count?
.JPG)
the joys.....here is a pic of the communication between Thomas and i....he had a lesson on Friday about "thy shall never say OI to my mum!" little horror. Now today hes lost his English draft.....good old mum will find it...!
XXX
Its hard i share my birthday with my beautiful sister so never really had a day "to myself" really. I also make sure the boys celebrate their days but i just view it as another day really. I'm not too hung up on "getting older" 40 excites me...i think i have more energy now that what i had when i was 20....sounds weird but i think the craziness of having 4 boys keeps me very active.....mind you I'm sleep deprived and have been for about 4 years now....YAWN.
experienced my first year 8 Marist parent teacher yesterday HOLY MOLEY!!!! talk about organised. and run like every 7 mins i got gonged to move onto my next teacher that took me more than 7 minutes to fine....yikes. So i was late SHOCK HORROR...i had my list off teacher in my hand and basically ran to the gym....great sight i can tell you that. first meeting MATHS my fav subject...NOT.
great teacher went through toms maths test that 150% went straight over my head ,but i smiled and nodded like i was the maths genius i am....he he.
Cut a long story short the reasoning behind Tom making me see all 6 teachers was because he got a glowing report....whew praise the lord. and is getting a B in every subject ...double Whew!!!! his was done....thank goodness.
Then i had to pick up Jonah who had been to swimming with grandad as i couldn't be in 2 places at the one time....I am good...but unfortunately I'm not that good.
so grabbed him dropped them home then got straight back into the car for Jonah's parent teacher interview...i actually had 5 mins spare waiting so of course i check facebook and check my emails...thank you IPHONE for making my life a tiny bit easier......Jonahs interview great also talked about extending him with his reading etc so all was good i even took a few notes on my scrappy piece of paper i had the whole afternoon's events scribbled on and also Eli;s scribble that i had to read through...looked like a dogs breakfast...got home Dave was finishing up dinner he had sent my mum home who i think was ready to be committed after having Eli and Tate for 2 hours for me....note to self split those two up.
i missed dinner...whoops. had a cuppa tea does that count?
.JPG)
XXX
Thursday, 28 February 2013
What is Real?
"What is REAL?" asked the rabbit one day, when (he and the skin horse) were laying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.
"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the skin horse. "Its a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.
"Does it hurt?" asked the rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the skin horse, for he was always truthful.
"When you are real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the skin horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you cant be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
-Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit.
Many years ago a teenage client of mine gave me this reading I have always kept it in my wardrobe as it meant a lot to me.
Running into a mum today and chatting about a few things it made me reflect on Thomas and his journey through anxiety and his feelings abandonment from his dad.....
No child is perfect and every single one of my boys is very unique and different. I think as parents we shouldn't beat ourselves up if we are faced with challenges that might arise... asperger's, anxiety, speech, hearing, learning difficulties...we aren't all perfect...but we are real and these are real issues that kids can encounter. And there is support out there to help parents get on top of things right now. its not failure by all means......its life. And if you seek out for help that's being the best parent you can be. You are taking the step to help your child be the best they can be.
I look back and I'm so glad Thomas saw a child psychiatrist it has shaped and made him the great young man he is today. I was petrified that all his built up anger and emotions from his dad would all surface when he was a teenager....And I wanted it sorted right then and there so he could enjoy being a kid. I'm going to be honest it was tough for a few years he would lash out get angry wasn't sure how to control how he felt towards his dad, so the counselling help him understand.....why he was feeling like this. I did feel like a failure....but for the future I had to do it for him. Dave supported everything and we could see changes in him after a little bit of time. You have to commit and think of the child... they will be better for it in the long run.
honestly parenting decisions are not easy...but I think as a couple and maternally you know what is the best avenue to take when it comes to your child.
The only real failure in life is the failure to try.................................XXXXXXX
"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the skin horse. "Its a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.
"Does it hurt?" asked the rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the skin horse, for he was always truthful.
"When you are real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the skin horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you cant be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
-Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit.
Many years ago a teenage client of mine gave me this reading I have always kept it in my wardrobe as it meant a lot to me.
Running into a mum today and chatting about a few things it made me reflect on Thomas and his journey through anxiety and his feelings abandonment from his dad.....
No child is perfect and every single one of my boys is very unique and different. I think as parents we shouldn't beat ourselves up if we are faced with challenges that might arise... asperger's, anxiety, speech, hearing, learning difficulties...we aren't all perfect...but we are real and these are real issues that kids can encounter. And there is support out there to help parents get on top of things right now. its not failure by all means......its life. And if you seek out for help that's being the best parent you can be. You are taking the step to help your child be the best they can be.
I look back and I'm so glad Thomas saw a child psychiatrist it has shaped and made him the great young man he is today. I was petrified that all his built up anger and emotions from his dad would all surface when he was a teenager....And I wanted it sorted right then and there so he could enjoy being a kid. I'm going to be honest it was tough for a few years he would lash out get angry wasn't sure how to control how he felt towards his dad, so the counselling help him understand.....why he was feeling like this. I did feel like a failure....but for the future I had to do it for him. Dave supported everything and we could see changes in him after a little bit of time. You have to commit and think of the child... they will be better for it in the long run.
honestly parenting decisions are not easy...but I think as a couple and maternally you know what is the best avenue to take when it comes to your child.
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Being the little brother...
We had to have the chat with Jonah the other night about ..."being the annoying little brother" when Tom has mates over. You know the usual chat leave them alone, don't be annoying, stay upstairs... Blah blah blah. He took it but you could see the disappointment in his face Mr 6 wanting to be Mr 13.... It's hard not to be a follower... Especially When you have a much older brother. When Toms mates were here Jonah sat at the back stairs and watched.... Everything they did. I watched him jumping out of his skin to get down those back stairs to show them he could keep up... It was cute. He wanted to be one of them. When my husband came home he was down there like a flash... He was in absolute awe... He was talking to them like he had been hanging around them the last 3 years... I have never experienced this feeling as I am the eldest of my family... I remembered getting frustrated and annoyed which I'm sure Tom gets... But standing back and looking at them it was nice to know Tom helped him and made him feel welcome ... I'm glad he set the example.... Because now it's onto the "don't be a follower be a leader" chat to master 6 year old. So many life lessons even when your little.
Monday, 11 February 2013
My little Tate...
My little friend...I adore your determination... Yr infectious smile and giggles...your eyes nearly disappear when u belly laugh... You follow your brothers every foot steps...when your mischievous or naughty I think back to when u were lay...ing in a hospital bed staring into my eyes wanting me to help you...and it's ok. You hav taught me how to find joy in the simplest things ... And u spoil me with how much love u give me...u are my little friend my last little boy... U warm my heart everyday knowing you are now healthy and ok...xxx
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Never too late....
MAN... well haven't written too much in term 2 as it is the most chaotic term in our household every single year. We have rugby 7 days a week, plus working, plus kids sport, plus my husbands many commitments...just utter CRAZY. However Term 3 has hit and I'm feeling a little more on top of it all after that shocking term.
I am currently also studying a diploma in counselling. Yeah a little crazy but hay why not?
My train of thought was i love my job as a hairdresser and I'm wanting to improve my skills when i chat to my clients, so i can help and understand them a little better and know how to handle situations that may arise in conversations we have in my home salon.
I also am very interested down the track to specialise in Woman's health and also first time mother's.
My aim is to open an centre or even a premises that allows me to combine both skills of hairdressing and helping the needs of mums/women. Its my 5 year plan. doing the study now so hopefully when Mr T starts prep i can dive into this 110%.
I attended a workshop yesterday and OMG was it amazing or what. So many beautiful women with so many stories. Blew me away. We did role playing where we had to try and help that person and guide them in the right directions...I had the most amazing time. I had no fear. All the women were over 30 mainly looking for a career change. There was 4 hairdressers...go figure. 4 teachers. a few that worked in government jobs in admin, and a few stay at home mums. One was even 20 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old and didn't want to go back to her old job she has had for 17 years.
There was no judgements no trying to out do each other there was no high maintenance women it was really a great group of women each with there own story. And a lot with "Life" experiences.
I said to my husband last night I'm glad now i have chosen to do this its something that can add to my hairdressing. i learnt yesterday that i show even my hair clients too much feeling the first thing i want to do when i hear someone upset is to console them and tell them its OK, however in counselling its a different approach so yesterday i learnt how to separate the 2 and not get so emotionally involved with my clients. it really did all make sense to me. i also learnt a few positive parenting tips to bring into our home to use on the boys. which i tried last night and worked very well....the SANDWICH AFFECT.......positive/negative/finishing on a positive....ALWAYS.
Mr J thank you for putting your clothes away.....how about next time though you put your socks and undies away too?.......but I'm very proud of you for doing your clothes...good boy!
I think in the busiest of life we can forget the small things like this...it was good to be reminded and do role plays on how to do things a little better....
Totally wasted today though....WOW!!! my brain is DEAD!!!
managed to write a draft of a 1500 word assignment on Saturday night though in between Mr E vomit- ting 4 times through his bed and husband at the rugby union and 2 fight older boys....ARRRRGGGG!!!
And the best thing was normally i feel guilty leaving the family if i have something like this on but this time I didn't ....i was able to focus and concentrate and know everything is totally cool at home, and my husband did a fantastic job. everyone had sleeps washing done....very proud of them all.
A friend wished me good luck on Friday for the workshop and she said....Its so good your boys are seeing a strong, smart hardworking mother as their role model...... then maybe they might not marry a pole dancer.....cracked me up!!!!
I am currently also studying a diploma in counselling. Yeah a little crazy but hay why not?
My train of thought was i love my job as a hairdresser and I'm wanting to improve my skills when i chat to my clients, so i can help and understand them a little better and know how to handle situations that may arise in conversations we have in my home salon.
I also am very interested down the track to specialise in Woman's health and also first time mother's.
My aim is to open an centre or even a premises that allows me to combine both skills of hairdressing and helping the needs of mums/women. Its my 5 year plan. doing the study now so hopefully when Mr T starts prep i can dive into this 110%.
I attended a workshop yesterday and OMG was it amazing or what. So many beautiful women with so many stories. Blew me away. We did role playing where we had to try and help that person and guide them in the right directions...I had the most amazing time. I had no fear. All the women were over 30 mainly looking for a career change. There was 4 hairdressers...go figure. 4 teachers. a few that worked in government jobs in admin, and a few stay at home mums. One was even 20 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old and didn't want to go back to her old job she has had for 17 years.
There was no judgements no trying to out do each other there was no high maintenance women it was really a great group of women each with there own story. And a lot with "Life" experiences.
I said to my husband last night I'm glad now i have chosen to do this its something that can add to my hairdressing. i learnt yesterday that i show even my hair clients too much feeling the first thing i want to do when i hear someone upset is to console them and tell them its OK, however in counselling its a different approach so yesterday i learnt how to separate the 2 and not get so emotionally involved with my clients. it really did all make sense to me. i also learnt a few positive parenting tips to bring into our home to use on the boys. which i tried last night and worked very well....the SANDWICH AFFECT.......positive/negative/finishing on a positive....ALWAYS.
Mr J thank you for putting your clothes away.....how about next time though you put your socks and undies away too?.......but I'm very proud of you for doing your clothes...good boy!
I think in the busiest of life we can forget the small things like this...it was good to be reminded and do role plays on how to do things a little better....
Totally wasted today though....WOW!!! my brain is DEAD!!!
managed to write a draft of a 1500 word assignment on Saturday night though in between Mr E vomit- ting 4 times through his bed and husband at the rugby union and 2 fight older boys....ARRRRGGGG!!!
And the best thing was normally i feel guilty leaving the family if i have something like this on but this time I didn't ....i was able to focus and concentrate and know everything is totally cool at home, and my husband did a fantastic job. everyone had sleeps washing done....very proud of them all.
A friend wished me good luck on Friday for the workshop and she said....Its so good your boys are seeing a strong, smart hardworking mother as their role model...... then maybe they might not marry a pole dancer.....cracked me up!!!!
Monday, 28 May 2012
I hate using the word disappointed...it sucks!
Last night would of had to have been my toughest night ever (so far) being a tough parent.
Why is it so hard sometimes to keep the standards high...to keep the discipline high...to keep trying to teach them that this will shape them later on in life...i know my stuff, i was a hard core teenager and a pretty driven, motivated person since i can remember, I'm here to help and teach and guide...but obviously these night will happen...sadly.
Master 12 arrives home from school yesterday with a massive headache...i could see his eyes were red and he did look a little unwell. I gave him panadol and sent him to bed to rest and said...rep rugby training is at 6pm we need to leave by 5.30pm so rest till we have to leave. Then i got on with working in the front room.
At 5.20pm all hell breaks loose because master 12 has informed me hes too sick to go to training...i do understand...however if it was school or club training i would have rested him. Rep training is a different story. And its too late to call the manager!!!
I advise him that maybe we go to the training and he informs the coach that hes not feeling the best and can he "take it easy" he goes ...NO!
right...I then go into my spiel about letting the team down...he switched off i think...so i made him get dressed i loaded up all 4 children and headed to Toowong so "I" could tell the coach at least and inform him that Master 12 wasn't 100%. I get a mum to watch the little ones i head to the coach...as I'm heading there a parent asks where's master 12...i said hes not 100% well with a headache. She informs me he better get out there you only can miss 2 training sessions then your dropped BJRU rules for rep teams. Blood is boiling now.
I tell the coach master 12 isn't well, he say's can you get him out of the car because if he gets injured or "really" sick over the next few weeks he would only have one spare training session up his sleeve then he would get dropped. I storm back to the car.
I say to him over and over again while i have a 2year old and a 5 year old fighting...and a 7 month old baby screaming because he wants his bottle....is your headache bad enough to loose one of your training sessions...? I'm not getting out he says!
Me: so if next week your vomiting into a bucket you will have to take that bucket out on the field and train? Can you not just "try " with a headache so you still have 2 training sessions up your sleeve in case you injure yourself at school cross country..? NO!
I started the car and drove home. i couldn't speak. i was so disappointed.
I had the chat with master 12 the week before asking him before we paid the $245 rep kit fee if he was serious and wanted to do it...i got a yes. i said you will be in 3 rugby teams for about 5-6 weeks can you handle this...Yes mum.
you have CIC cross country for school and then regionals are you sure your ok? Yes mum.
cross country money paid...rep money paid.
I think he learnt his lesson that i was disappointed last night that he didn't "try" to go out there, i always say its better to go and then they.. can see how sick you are and they can send you home.. then they can see your commitment.
I think master 5 learnt a big lesson in commitment last night....as master 12 got out of the car this morning for school...cause there was no way in hell he was having the day off. He goes to him..."you have only one chance left...just one chance!" Master 12 is steering clear of me, he ate his dinner took more panadol and was in bed by 7.15pm last night. I couldn't even speak. But i hope hes learnt his lesson. parenting SUCKS!
Why is it so hard sometimes to keep the standards high...to keep the discipline high...to keep trying to teach them that this will shape them later on in life...i know my stuff, i was a hard core teenager and a pretty driven, motivated person since i can remember, I'm here to help and teach and guide...but obviously these night will happen...sadly.
Master 12 arrives home from school yesterday with a massive headache...i could see his eyes were red and he did look a little unwell. I gave him panadol and sent him to bed to rest and said...rep rugby training is at 6pm we need to leave by 5.30pm so rest till we have to leave. Then i got on with working in the front room.
At 5.20pm all hell breaks loose because master 12 has informed me hes too sick to go to training...i do understand...however if it was school or club training i would have rested him. Rep training is a different story. And its too late to call the manager!!!
I advise him that maybe we go to the training and he informs the coach that hes not feeling the best and can he "take it easy" he goes ...NO!
right...I then go into my spiel about letting the team down...he switched off i think...so i made him get dressed i loaded up all 4 children and headed to Toowong so "I" could tell the coach at least and inform him that Master 12 wasn't 100%. I get a mum to watch the little ones i head to the coach...as I'm heading there a parent asks where's master 12...i said hes not 100% well with a headache. She informs me he better get out there you only can miss 2 training sessions then your dropped BJRU rules for rep teams. Blood is boiling now.
I tell the coach master 12 isn't well, he say's can you get him out of the car because if he gets injured or "really" sick over the next few weeks he would only have one spare training session up his sleeve then he would get dropped. I storm back to the car.
I say to him over and over again while i have a 2year old and a 5 year old fighting...and a 7 month old baby screaming because he wants his bottle....is your headache bad enough to loose one of your training sessions...? I'm not getting out he says!
Me: so if next week your vomiting into a bucket you will have to take that bucket out on the field and train? Can you not just "try " with a headache so you still have 2 training sessions up your sleeve in case you injure yourself at school cross country..? NO!
I started the car and drove home. i couldn't speak. i was so disappointed.
I had the chat with master 12 the week before asking him before we paid the $245 rep kit fee if he was serious and wanted to do it...i got a yes. i said you will be in 3 rugby teams for about 5-6 weeks can you handle this...Yes mum.
you have CIC cross country for school and then regionals are you sure your ok? Yes mum.
cross country money paid...rep money paid.
I think he learnt his lesson that i was disappointed last night that he didn't "try" to go out there, i always say its better to go and then they.. can see how sick you are and they can send you home.. then they can see your commitment.
I think master 5 learnt a big lesson in commitment last night....as master 12 got out of the car this morning for school...cause there was no way in hell he was having the day off. He goes to him..."you have only one chance left...just one chance!" Master 12 is steering clear of me, he ate his dinner took more panadol and was in bed by 7.15pm last night. I couldn't even speak. But i hope hes learnt his lesson. parenting SUCKS!
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