Wednesday, 7 March 2012

let kids be kids...

well its been another interesting week...

An email from a cranky parent about their son and rugby, followed by a write up in the courier mail about my husbands really never ends.

We all think our kids are the best! My god its only natural as a parent to want them to succeed and do well in their life. And its our job as a parent to steer them in the right direction. As you know i have 4 boys and i can tell you right now each one of them is different. And I'm glad they are.

I think there is a line though that as a parent you need to STOP and take a step back.

Grading for son #1's team was last Sunday and yes i was a little nervous. There are a lot of very skilled kids out there and half back is a very specific position in rugby union and very sort after so yes i was nervous for him.
we had a little chat before the trials and once out on the field my nerves soon faded as he was ticked on the list quiet quickly and he had got it on his own merit too as my husband is the coach but they had independent selectors watching the boys. that's done and dusted....whew! and i was so happy for him because hes with his friends and also playing in div 1 again which is a great opportunity for him to develop as a player.

2 boys from our team last year however did not make it. So here comes the email. It was independently looked at. There is much anyone can do when everyone takes a step back and outsiders come in the look at the boys. Its life not getting picked. And we had talked to son #1 about this happening. Sometimes in life you do also have to prepare your kids that its not always going to go "their" way. what happens if you don't get picked for the job you go for? are you going to email and complain?

As for the "drama" that my poor husband is dealing with (these boys are older), And sometimes have chips on their shoulders...but again sometimes things in life don't go to plan or then you make a choice. Many things in your life will clash with something else or you may have work commitments or sporting commitments that's when you decide "whats the most important to me?" and then wear the consequences of your decision. If that means you don't play first XV rugby because you want to play club league then do it. Life is about CHOICES. you will soon realise if you have made the right or wrong choice.
What also annoys me is some of these boys whose fathers are now "running the show" don't credit my husband really to anything. The boys do. But really they would not be where they are without the guidance,support and belief may husband has in them. And as an outsider waiting for my husband to walk in at 7pm to have dinner with us its annoying. When you attend a catholic private school in your interview you are clearly made aware School sport comes first club comes second. You always choose school first. So where is the loyalty? And the team spirit? or is it now everyone for themselves? My husband is trying to prove a point and set the standard for future years that you cant let your team mates and school down.

My son takes pride in his school. He wears the uniform with pride everyday he puts it on. He plays division 1 club but can only make the C's at school but he still gives it 110% because he loves his school. isn't that what its all about?

And i get that these parents want contracts with NRL clubs and want their sons to go on and be the "BEST" but come on find a balance. Don't threaten to switch schools..take them away from their friends disrupt their second last or last year of high school...i don't get it.

Theres always a solution. But you have to remember the people who got you there and helped you along the way.
and we all want whats best for our kids but you don't have to be a over bearing in your face parent.
Your kids are watching that behaviour and it will turn into a never changing cycle.

Enjoy them don't push them away with what you think is right for you. We have lived our childhood. Let them live theirs!


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