Monday, 22 June 2015


So this next assignment is hard. Developmental psychology, pick a theorist of psychology and analyse their theories and relate them into your own life starting with how something in your childhood has impacted or moulded you for adulthood.

Far out. 

It been a week and a half and i was stumped. I have researched my psychologist and his theories but for some reason couldn't pin point a memory or a glimmer of something that has crossed over or impacted me from childhood to adulthood.......

My mind has been racing i cant switch off as I'm trying to search in my memory bank for that one thing......

Then it came to me. I put up the holiday calender on the wall of the activities the boys are doing, rugby clinics, cross country training, kindy, drive in night, trip up the coast to see my dad, heaps of stuff around the house needs doing..........SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!

Every single school holidays for me from the age of 5-11 (for roughly 6 years) I spent being a mum, i would open up a pretend shop, and i would load my bike up and pretend to travel around Australia. I had the most vivid imagination. I could never sit still, as soon as i would wake up every single day of the school holidays i had a plan. If i pretended i was a mum to my dolls, i would put them to bed and make dinner with my tea set, i would pretend to make beds, was clothes in a bucket and hang them out. I was role playing a role that i looked forward to but wasn't old enough to realise.
If i played shops i would have a cash register and sell my drawings to my mum or dad, or at one stage i created a drive through where i pretended to make food to sell to the people driving by. Obviously this was my sub conscience getting me ready for my adult life of working really hard for 19 years at the one job.

It was me as a young child wanting to juggle working and being a mother,  i was trying to role play finding a balance from the age of 5-11. To provide and nurture at the same time. 

I couldn't sit still long enough to watch a movie on the holidays or just lay on the lounge and do nothing, i would still be playing when mum would call us for dinner at 6pm. I would only stop for lunch. My bike was my transport and my imagination was everything. As i got older, I strived to do well, and nothing was ever to hard, if i didn't get it the first time i usually got it the 2nd or 3rd time. I got my licence first go and i walked up to the local shops at 13 & 8 months and got my first part time job. Before i left school i sent out 32 resumes to salons to try and have a back up plan in case i wanted a year off from studying/uni and i only had 2 interviews with Stefan and i was employed and i still had 3 weeks of grade 12 left. 

I think this has all stemmed back from the imagination and play based child i was growing up. I often think if sport was "really" pushed in my family would i have given that a crack as well? I played club netball but didn't go any further......

There was also no social media back then to so i think imagination and play was so much more common. Looking back I honestly think it shaped me to be the mother/wife/worker that i am today. As i child i strived to be all those things and i knew that's what i wanted.

So Lev Vygotsky i fit into your theories that Imaginative play is essential in cognitive development., but it is fast becoming endangered by our busy lives. Children now days who spend to much time watching TV or or electrical devices are not developing the language and reasoning skills that are so critical to early childhood development. 

Now to write my 2500 assignment!!! Thanks Vygotsky ....Now boys go and play....... XX

Sunday, 14 June 2015

A story about Rory.........

 There is only a handful of students that really leave their mark on my husband and Rory Humphrey's is one of these students.

When Dave met Rory when he started at St Edmund's college I remember him saying "This boy has talent, he's the real deal."
So it wasn't long before the bond began to form. You have to earn "Mr Mile's" trust you don't have to be the best or the fastest or the most talented but if you show respect and the ability to want to learn and be the best you can be.... You have won Mr Miles over. Rory did this. Everything Dave suggested he did, he trusted him and Dave believed in him. Dave didn't want to be his mate, he wanted to be his mentor. So many teachers get this wrong with students, they have enough mates, they want guidance and reassurance and mentoring. This is why Dave's relationships work with his students he coaches. We knew Rory but we had never met him, that's how much Dave would speak of him. I remember his mum messaging me from her car while i was at home with my boys saying "Mr Miles has gone 25 mins over training what they hell?"

Rory went onto captain the 1st XV and was an awesome leader for his peers, Dave could rely on him. To motivate and lead by example. Rory was outstanding at schoolboy rugby union but was also a gun rugby league player so    was juggling both, he made both QLD schoolboys union and league and had to chose.
                                                       Again he confided in Dave for advice and direction.
 He made AIC teams, and also Met west. After completing year 12 and not getting the best OP he wanted (12), he chatted again with Dave about his options. Dave suggested repeating grade 12 and re focusing on his academic side and telling him he would watch him like a hawk with his studies, and drop him from sporting teams if his grades fell. Repeating year 12 Rory made Representative sides yet again so he had now made QLD schoolboys league in 2010 and 2012, and QLD schoolboys union 2011,2012 before getting picked up by the Sydney tigers (league) after he completed year 12 and obtaining an amazing OP of 6. He didn't last long at the tigers before becoming a little homesick ( he was only 17) and was picked up by the Gold Coast titans U20 squad where he still is. Dave tries to watch or record all his games and you can see his proud face every time he sees him. The reason why their bond is so strong is that there was a mutual understanding from the beginning Dave was there to guide and mentor him to make him the best he could be in the time frame that Dave was present in his schooling. Many teachers loose sight of this, they don't want another mate they want direction and support. Dave brought out the best in Rory and Rory made Dave's experience at St Edmund's one he will never forget. I'm  
really  looking forward to the next "Rory" who comes along Dave's path, and watch his journey unfold.

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

My life with endometriosis

14Th Jan 2015. I took control of my body. And had surgery.

I live in a household with 5 athletic, strong, fit on the go males. 

They are crazy. Everything is about sport and I'm pretty sure they would watch lawn bowls if had to. Its very hard. And for the past 3 years i have struggled to keep up with them. Its extremely hard being the only female, however i have said time and time again god threw so many boys at me to test me...daily.

I had my first child at 22, emergency c section 9 pounds. It wasn't the best experience, so when son #2 was on the way i was advised to have another c section so it was planned another 9 pounder. #3 was also another planned c section he was the smallest at 8 and a half pounds at 38 weeks. I was told maybe no more as my uterus wasn't in the best shape after having 3 big boys.

We considered a 4th child but it all came down to if my OB would do another c section as i wasn't sure being #4, i was already 5 weeks pregnant, i started to bleed at 8 weeks and thought I had lost #4 however after having a scan i was loosing my 2nd gestational sac ...yes i was pregnant with twins., and i lost baby #5 at 8 weeks. ( i think my uterus was so damaged i couldn't hold 2 babies)

#4 was born at 36 weeks as my waters broke and i went into labour and he was over 9 pounds at 36 weeks!!!!! another emergency c section like #1

Totally and utterly finished. 4 healthy big baby boys. I knew i was complete as a mother. And i knew i wasn't meant to have 5 babies.

12 years of giving my body to my boys and making them the most healthy lads they could be took a toll on me.

I wasn't the same after #4.

Then my journey began. I didn't like my body at all. I was surrounded by fit, energetic motivated males and i had nothing left to give. My body was tired and broken.

I was in pain everyday. My scar tissue ached. My periods were 16 days long, 2 days off then started again.... i put up with this for 2 years after #4, last year i got to the point where i lived on endone and panadol and had a heat pack on my belly at all times. My hormones were unbelievable. My body was tense 24/7 and i was loosing so much blood at period time i was having iron injections to get me through. I was physically and emotionally drained and had two babies 14 months apart.

Then i hit the point of having indigestion every single time i ate. I would hold my chest to try and get food down. Everything burnt in my chest.

I watched the boys exercise and run and just sit and watch.
I was in agony but just tried to suck it up.

I had learnt to live with the pain daily. 

However it was affecting my life as a wife and mother.

I went to see my OB (finally) 3 years after having #4 and my third year of living in agony.

And he was in shock that i had lived with it for so long. He confirmed for me, I had endometriosis. All through my uterus. And it had spread up into my ribs and coated them hence why i felt winded all the time now. 

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't keep up with the boys. I had a hernia behind my belly button from my last pregnancy so i couldn't bend down fully so how the hell was i going to go to the gym or do a fitness circuit in the back yard with master 8?

I ended up in the emergency dept just before xmas 2014. And i lived on panadene fort daily till my operation in Jan 2015.

I had made the decision to end the pain once and for all and regain control of my body so i had a part hysterectomy ....uterus, Fallopian tubes, and cervix, i had a hernia removed from my belly button, and some laser surgery to fuse the endo of my ribs.

recovery was hard, especially with 4 kids and a husband starting a new job the week after my operation. However 3 months on and i feel like a new person. I have this new found energy and i am about to start doing some fitness with my 8 year old this coming week. Taking it slowly.

There are a few ads on at the moment about endometriosis being a silent pain, and i can confirm that it is. You cant describe it. No one can see it or feel it, so you tend to tell yourself to suck it up, get on with things. sometimes you just cant. You need to acknowledge that its not going to go away or fix itself. The pain will affect your day to day life over time. I'm going to try and get balance back into my life now, and try to get my body back after 12 years nurturing babies.

If anyone needs any help or guidance please message me. My surgeon is amazing and he so understanding of how delicate this subject and operation is to women.

here's to more energy and less pain. XXXXX