Wednesday, 15 April 2015

My life with endometriosis

14Th Jan 2015. I took control of my body. And had surgery.

I live in a household with 5 athletic, strong, fit on the go males. 

They are crazy. Everything is about sport and I'm pretty sure they would watch lawn bowls if had to. Its very hard. And for the past 3 years i have struggled to keep up with them. Its extremely hard being the only female, however i have said time and time again god threw so many boys at me to test me...daily.

I had my first child at 22, emergency c section 9 pounds. It wasn't the best experience, so when son #2 was on the way i was advised to have another c section so it was planned another 9 pounder. #3 was also another planned c section he was the smallest at 8 and a half pounds at 38 weeks. I was told maybe no more as my uterus wasn't in the best shape after having 3 big boys.

We considered a 4th child but it all came down to if my OB would do another c section as i wasn't sure being #4, i was already 5 weeks pregnant, i started to bleed at 8 weeks and thought I had lost #4 however after having a scan i was loosing my 2nd gestational sac ...yes i was pregnant with twins., and i lost baby #5 at 8 weeks. ( i think my uterus was so damaged i couldn't hold 2 babies)

#4 was born at 36 weeks as my waters broke and i went into labour and he was over 9 pounds at 36 weeks!!!!! another emergency c section like #1

Totally and utterly finished. 4 healthy big baby boys. I knew i was complete as a mother. And i knew i wasn't meant to have 5 babies.

12 years of giving my body to my boys and making them the most healthy lads they could be took a toll on me.

I wasn't the same after #4.

Then my journey began. I didn't like my body at all. I was surrounded by fit, energetic motivated males and i had nothing left to give. My body was tired and broken.

I was in pain everyday. My scar tissue ached. My periods were 16 days long, 2 days off then started again.... i put up with this for 2 years after #4, last year i got to the point where i lived on endone and panadol and had a heat pack on my belly at all times. My hormones were unbelievable. My body was tense 24/7 and i was loosing so much blood at period time i was having iron injections to get me through. I was physically and emotionally drained and had two babies 14 months apart.

Then i hit the point of having indigestion every single time i ate. I would hold my chest to try and get food down. Everything burnt in my chest.

I watched the boys exercise and run and just sit and watch.
I was in agony but just tried to suck it up.

I had learnt to live with the pain daily. 

However it was affecting my life as a wife and mother.

I went to see my OB (finally) 3 years after having #4 and my third year of living in agony.

And he was in shock that i had lived with it for so long. He confirmed for me, I had endometriosis. All through my uterus. And it had spread up into my ribs and coated them hence why i felt winded all the time now. 

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't keep up with the boys. I had a hernia behind my belly button from my last pregnancy so i couldn't bend down fully so how the hell was i going to go to the gym or do a fitness circuit in the back yard with master 8?

I ended up in the emergency dept just before xmas 2014. And i lived on panadene fort daily till my operation in Jan 2015.

I had made the decision to end the pain once and for all and regain control of my body so i had a part hysterectomy ....uterus, Fallopian tubes, and cervix, i had a hernia removed from my belly button, and some laser surgery to fuse the endo of my ribs.

recovery was hard, especially with 4 kids and a husband starting a new job the week after my operation. However 3 months on and i feel like a new person. I have this new found energy and i am about to start doing some fitness with my 8 year old this coming week. Taking it slowly.

There are a few ads on at the moment about endometriosis being a silent pain, and i can confirm that it is. You cant describe it. No one can see it or feel it, so you tend to tell yourself to suck it up, get on with things. sometimes you just cant. You need to acknowledge that its not going to go away or fix itself. The pain will affect your day to day life over time. I'm going to try and get balance back into my life now, and try to get my body back after 12 years nurturing babies.

If anyone needs any help or guidance please message me. My surgeon is amazing and he so understanding of how delicate this subject and operation is to women.

here's to more energy and less pain. XXXXX

No comments:

Post a Comment