Monday, 22 June 2015

Theories..Imagination....Play...Me!!

So this next assignment is hard. Developmental psychology, pick a theorist of psychology and analyse their theories and relate them into your own life starting with how something in your childhood has impacted or moulded you for adulthood.

Far out. 

It been a week and a half and i was stumped. I have researched my psychologist and his theories but for some reason couldn't pin point a memory or a glimmer of something that has crossed over or impacted me from childhood to adulthood.......

My mind has been racing i cant switch off as I'm trying to search in my memory bank for that one thing......

Then it came to me. I put up the holiday calender on the wall of the activities the boys are doing, rugby clinics, cross country training, kindy, drive in night, trip up the coast to see my dad, heaps of stuff around the house needs doing..........SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!

Every single school holidays for me from the age of 5-11 (for roughly 6 years) I spent being a mum, i would open up a pretend shop, and i would load my bike up and pretend to travel around Australia. I had the most vivid imagination. I could never sit still, as soon as i would wake up every single day of the school holidays i had a plan. If i pretended i was a mum to my dolls, i would put them to bed and make dinner with my tea set, i would pretend to make beds, was clothes in a bucket and hang them out. I was role playing a role that i looked forward to but wasn't old enough to realise.
If i played shops i would have a cash register and sell my drawings to my mum or dad, or at one stage i created a drive through where i pretended to make food to sell to the people driving by. Obviously this was my sub conscience getting me ready for my adult life of working really hard for 19 years at the one job.

It was me as a young child wanting to juggle working and being a mother,  i was trying to role play finding a balance from the age of 5-11. To provide and nurture at the same time. 


I couldn't sit still long enough to watch a movie on the holidays or just lay on the lounge and do nothing, i would still be playing when mum would call us for dinner at 6pm. I would only stop for lunch. My bike was my transport and my imagination was everything. As i got older, I strived to do well, and nothing was ever to hard, if i didn't get it the first time i usually got it the 2nd or 3rd time. I got my licence first go and i walked up to the local shops at 13 & 8 months and got my first part time job. Before i left school i sent out 32 resumes to salons to try and have a back up plan in case i wanted a year off from studying/uni and i only had 2 interviews with Stefan and i was employed and i still had 3 weeks of grade 12 left. 

I think this has all stemmed back from the imagination and play based child i was growing up. I often think if sport was "really" pushed in my family would i have given that a crack as well? I played club netball but didn't go any further......

There was also no social media back then to so i think imagination and play was so much more common. Looking back I honestly think it shaped me to be the mother/wife/worker that i am today. As i child i strived to be all those things and i knew that's what i wanted.

So Lev Vygotsky i fit into your theories that Imaginative play is essential in cognitive development., but it is fast becoming endangered by our busy lives. Children now days who spend to much time watching TV or or electrical devices are not developing the language and reasoning skills that are so critical to early childhood development. 

Now to write my 2500 assignment!!! Thanks Vygotsky ....Now boys go and play....... XX





Sunday, 14 June 2015

A story about Rory.........

 There is only a handful of students that really leave their mark on my husband and Rory Humphrey's is one of these students.

When Dave met Rory when he started at St Edmund's college I remember him saying "This boy has talent, he's the real deal."
So it wasn't long before the bond began to form. You have to earn "Mr Mile's" trust you don't have to be the best or the fastest or the most talented but if you show respect and the ability to want to learn and be the best you can be.... You have won Mr Miles over. Rory did this. Everything Dave suggested he did, he trusted him and Dave believed in him. Dave didn't want to be his mate, he wanted to be his mentor. So many teachers get this wrong with students, they have enough mates, they want guidance and reassurance and mentoring. This is why Dave's relationships work with his students he coaches. We knew Rory but we had never met him, that's how much Dave would speak of him. I remember his mum messaging me from her car while i was at home with my boys saying "Mr Miles has gone 25 mins over training what they hell?"

Rory went onto captain the 1st XV and was an awesome leader for his peers, Dave could rely on him. To motivate and lead by example. Rory was outstanding at schoolboy rugby union but was also a gun rugby league player so    was juggling both, he made both QLD schoolboys union and league and had to chose.
                                                       Again he confided in Dave for advice and direction.
 He made AIC teams, and also Met west. After completing year 12 and not getting the best OP he wanted (12), he chatted again with Dave about his options. Dave suggested repeating grade 12 and re focusing on his academic side and telling him he would watch him like a hawk with his studies, and drop him from sporting teams if his grades fell. Repeating year 12 Rory made Representative sides yet again so he had now made QLD schoolboys league in 2010 and 2012, and QLD schoolboys union 2011,2012 before getting picked up by the Sydney tigers (league) after he completed year 12 and obtaining an amazing OP of 6. He didn't last long at the tigers before becoming a little homesick ( he was only 17) and was picked up by the Gold Coast titans U20 squad where he still is. Dave tries to watch or record all his games and you can see his proud face every time he sees him. The reason why their bond is so strong is that there was a mutual understanding from the beginning Dave was there to guide and mentor him to make him the best he could be in the time frame that Dave was present in his schooling. Many teachers loose sight of this, they don't want another mate they want direction and support. Dave brought out the best in Rory and Rory made Dave's experience at St Edmund's one he will never forget. I'm  
really  looking forward to the next "Rory" who comes along Dave's path, and watch his journey unfold.

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

My life with endometriosis

14Th Jan 2015. I took control of my body. And had surgery.

I live in a household with 5 athletic, strong, fit on the go males. 

They are crazy. Everything is about sport and I'm pretty sure they would watch lawn bowls if had to. Its very hard. And for the past 3 years i have struggled to keep up with them. Its extremely hard being the only female, however i have said time and time again god threw so many boys at me to test me...daily.

I had my first child at 22, emergency c section 9 pounds. It wasn't the best experience, so when son #2 was on the way i was advised to have another c section so it was planned another 9 pounder. #3 was also another planned c section he was the smallest at 8 and a half pounds at 38 weeks. I was told maybe no more as my uterus wasn't in the best shape after having 3 big boys.


We considered a 4th child but it all came down to if my OB would do another c section as i wasn't sure being #4, i was already 5 weeks pregnant, i started to bleed at 8 weeks and thought I had lost #4 however after having a scan i was loosing my 2nd gestational sac ...yes i was pregnant with twins., and i lost baby #5 at 8 weeks. ( i think my uterus was so damaged i couldn't hold 2 babies)

#4 was born at 36 weeks as my waters broke and i went into labour and he was over 9 pounds at 36 weeks!!!!! another emergency c section like #1

Totally and utterly finished. 4 healthy big baby boys. I knew i was complete as a mother. And i knew i wasn't meant to have 5 babies.


12 years of giving my body to my boys and making them the most healthy lads they could be took a toll on me.


I wasn't the same after #4.


Then my journey began. I didn't like my body at all. I was surrounded by fit, energetic motivated males and i had nothing left to give. My body was tired and broken.


I was in pain everyday. My scar tissue ached. My periods were 16 days long, 2 days off then started again.... i put up with this for 2 years after #4, last year i got to the point where i lived on endone and panadol and had a heat pack on my belly at all times. My hormones were unbelievable. My body was tense 24/7 and i was loosing so much blood at period time i was having iron injections to get me through. I was physically and emotionally drained and had two babies 14 months apart.


Then i hit the point of having indigestion every single time i ate. I would hold my chest to try and get food down. Everything burnt in my chest.

I watched the boys exercise and run and just sit and watch.
I was in agony but just tried to suck it up.

I had learnt to live with the pain daily. 

However it was affecting my life as a wife and mother.

I went to see my OB (finally) 3 years after having #4 and my third year of living in agony.

And he was in shock that i had lived with it for so long. He confirmed for me, I had endometriosis. All through my uterus. And it had spread up into my ribs and coated them hence why i felt winded all the time now. 

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't keep up with the boys. I had a hernia behind my belly button from my last pregnancy so i couldn't bend down fully so how the hell was i going to go to the gym or do a fitness circuit in the back yard with master 8?


I ended up in the emergency dept just before xmas 2014. And i lived on panadene fort daily till my operation in Jan 2015.


I had made the decision to end the pain once and for all and regain control of my body so i had a part hysterectomy ....uterus, Fallopian tubes, and cervix, i had a hernia removed from my belly button, and some laser surgery to fuse the endo of my ribs.


recovery was hard, especially with 4 kids and a husband starting a new job the week after my operation. However 3 months on and i feel like a new person. I have this new found energy and i am about to start doing some fitness with my 8 year old this coming week. Taking it slowly.


There are a few ads on at the moment about endometriosis being a silent pain, and i can confirm that it is. You cant describe it. No one can see it or feel it, so you tend to tell yourself to suck it up, get on with things. sometimes you just cant. You need to acknowledge that its not going to go away or fix itself. The pain will affect your day to day life over time. I'm going to try and get balance back into my life now, and try to get my body back after 12 years nurturing babies.


If anyone needs any help or guidance please message me. My surgeon is amazing and he so understanding of how delicate this subject and operation is to women.


here's to more energy and less pain. XXXXX



Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Let your career find you.......

As a child I was full on. I think this is why God was looking down on me and gave me 4 adorable, different, strong willed, loud, rough boys....all very unique might I add.

He's testing me daily.....

Its funny today I'm reflecting on my career choice. As tomorrow I am doing a very special ladies hair for her wedding. I have known her and her mum since they walked into Stefan at Loganholme....about 17 years ago. I love a wedding, it makes ME feel like I'm so special because they have chosen me to make them look AMAZING....I love seeing brides faces light up, or tears when I get to put the veil on right at the end....the excitement of the day for them and watching them bask in the limelight....it gives me shivers every single time I'm apart of a very special moment...And I feel so blessed they have chosen me.....

Then it got me thinking ....17 years ago I was so ready to tackle uni and be an early childhood teacher as my other love as you may already have guessed it is ......children.

Why did my life lead me down the hairdressing path.....?
Why didn't I go to Uni?

I think.... my first and foremost calling was to be a mother........to care and nurture and guide my boys to the best of my ability, it wasn't teaching because I would have my hands full with 4 boys of my own.

I was given the opportunity to take a path where I could work around my children and have a skill which I cherish everyday as a gift.
I have a job where I can make people shine. I have a job where I can make someone's bad day.....awesome. I can make someone feel/look a billion dollars..... and I wouldn't trade that for any job. 

Tomorrow the beautiful bride I have the honour of doing has been in my life for 17 years, I have been there for her teenage years, her uni years, her highs and lows, and watching her meet the man of her dreams after jet setting overseas and experiencing life.

She sat in my salon after a breakup a little while ago and vowed to me she was never getting married or having children and as she cried and I could see her heart was broken into a thousand pieces I knew this was a learning curve for her and that her life would go on.......

This is the magic of my job.....I get to watch people grow, and experience life I get to go on many different journey's with them......which to me is an amazing honour....

When I leave to go tomorrow to a magical wedding I will be nervous, as I always am, its a huge responsibility my job that I take seriously ....I'm creating memories for someone....I'm making someone look amazing ...and when they look back on their wedding pictures they look at themselves and it takes their breathe away.....that is always my goal.

I'm so grateful I didn't go to Uni, I think letting the job choose you is by far the best way to go.....when they boys throw job ideas around of what they want to be ...... I think I will be suggesting to let the job or career path choose them.......and to take each day as it comes as there are so many opportunities out there.....

I get the best of both worlds in my job...... being a mummy/wife and creating beauty.......who could ask for anything more. I feel very blessed ........



Friday, 7 June 2013

another week another crazy household....

Another crazy crazy week.... You know what annoys me more than ever is when people say to me..."OMG Tom would be such a help and it would only really be like having 3 boys!" um HELL NO!!!!
yes he can grab you stuff or make his own toast in the mornings but I'm sorry reality is he's the needy one at the moment by far.....
So we lost a sports bag this week...only had 2012 cross country shirt which is highly sentimental to me...a pair of shorts...not too bad and then a $100 pair of Nike Free runs (sneakers) after ordering him to look everywhere as i saw red.....One shoe turned up yesterday...Toms...words well we are half way there aren't we mum!!! yes son we are!
Geography assignment due...mum proof reading on Tues and Thurs night after working of course.
on deforestation in Indonesia and Malaysia....YAWN.
Then after i proof read Tom informs me that a science assignment is due Friday that he wasn't there for as he was at Met north cross country so he didn't actually perform the experiment.....Well son you can submit the assignment unless you have some results....what about asking for an extension or emailing your science teacher might be a good idea? Oh yeah i will do that mum......."SIGH"

Cross country is taking it toll on me....i set my alarm 2 mornings a week to wake tom up at 6am....we made one this week, second one after shaking him about 15 times without waking the little ones...i decided to go back to bed....

Then we lost a PE shirt...looked for 3 days to find it.......i remembered washing it but had no idea where i put it......Then after the 3 days on Thursday.....tom goes: oh mum i found the PE shirt it was in my bag i grabbed it Monday and forgot...... thanks son.

Ok so that's just Thomas.....

gone through 18 litres of milk and its Saturday......yay.
grocery shopping is now done on a Wednesday (child free) and its working as i seem to not forget anything....however i have to top up wither fri or sun...when i hear .....mum there isn't anything left!!!!

i have worked this week battling bronchiolitis coughing my guts up but whats a sick day honestly....they are for the weak.....ha ha.

mini beast project due on Tues....honestly Jonah could probably teach Tom at the rate hes going....he amazes me that child.....his memory blows my mind....

little ones...well.... climbing and rand sacking everything.....they are like partners in crime....door slamming is our new fun thing to do and sadly Tate cops the brunt of it 99% of the time......
plus lets find a chair and climb everything has re surfaced after about 4 years since Jonah had dome it....
so I'm constantly saying probably 100 times a day.......

GET DOWN
GET OFF
LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE
STOP IT

you know the loud noisy smelly testosterone driven house that i call home.

i wouldn't have it any other way......

I learnt something last week though ...Never take the little ones to Jonah's rugby training ever again...they both ran off into the car park in pitch black and Tom was trying to herd one back while i had the other cornered. so this week i sought help....grandad kindly took Jonah so i could go to Thomas' 4pm game....last game and then head straight to get little ones from kindy and straight home....No detour to rugby/...whoop whoop.....but sadly there wasn't  a fairy at home ready to feed and bath them....bloody fairy always lets me down.....

my beautiful my has been roped into watching all 4 tonight....you think Tom is easy....unless hes going to do homework tonight he will probably annoy Jonah all night while mum tends to the little ones...so i have warned next door could be a tad loud....
Im off to the rugby with my husband yes i actually do have a husband, and now that rugby has finished today for 2013 (well school rugby) he will now coach QLD....but I'm not thinking about that yet.....i can sit next to him and watch even more rugby and try not to fall asleep with exhaustion......after prob averaging 4 hours sleep a night this week......thats a good week.
and try not to annoy the people next to me with my barking cough......
But ...its a night out with out someone hanging off me, wiping an arse, or getting rid off a snot nose, or working on this bloody science assignment...........TALK TO GMA SUCKERS MUM HAS FROM 6-10pm off.......

have an great weekend ..............and get lots of cuddles from your kiddies.....take deep breathes and drink wine.........




Saturday, 30 March 2013

Sometimes you need to do it tough to appreciate what you have...

I had a tough week. Little miss "i can do everything" this time around struggled.
And that's very hard for me to admit.
My husband goes away every year for a week and every year its all good.
This year with four boys it was hard!
I missed my right hand man.....
School runs,exam week, last week of school, 2 6 year old parties, my work, 2 assignments, early morn sport, rugby trials, lots of late nights, 2 full on toddlers....Easter preparations....i did make it just.
I didn't even cry even when my patience was pushed to its limits.
I have done it before ....but this time with 4 it was defiantly harder than 3...

I tried to cut my mums hair one afternoon, and the lounge room was silent...can only mean trouble.
With scissors in hand i walked around the corner to find the 2 little ones front windows wide open and screens...every cushion,throw rug, block thrown out the front windows.
I took a deep breathe went and picked it all up. Mum said "Oh my god Mel how do you keep so calm?"I couldn't answer her. Im hoping one day i will look back and laugh......

It made me come to the realisation that i need my right hand man.
That I'm not super woman. That i do need help sometimes.
I thought to myself I'm here all day with them...i do the school pick ups, i do the tennis/rugby/swimming i do the dinner every week night i do every ones washing....Why is this so hard?
It was hard because my husband and i are in sync. We know the routine together if I'm stuck with one child hes with the other....If I'm breaking up a fight hes on my side.....If hes settling one child I'm settling the other......that's what i missed my team mate......

When i married Dave i didn't know what team work  in a marriage was like i had never had it. 

It was hard at first to break down those walls and accept help.  When i saw the relationship blossom between Dave and Tom i knew we had something special...and i think that's why we went onto to have 3 more children. parenting is a big strength of our marriage....i see my husband with his students and also our boys and we both have a love children.

I struggled this week because i missed my team mate, my husband and my support.

It wasn't that i couldn't cope...it was because my right hand man was missing.

And it did make me realise that in my previous relationship i didn't have this at all. I was alone. I had no support and was constantly being the cheer girl to make someone try and be a parent...and try and love his son. When i met Dave it was so different he love Thomas and spent time with Thomas........so i knew this was right for us.....our family would be complete.

My husband is a wonderful man, and father and husband, i love him more than i have ever loved anyone. Every relationship is tough at times, but honestly when you find the right person tough times just only make you stronger.

PS: i have said no more going away till the little ones a a tiny bit older...............

HAPPY EASTER and god bless.......here's hoping that everyone finds Mr right just like i did. it may take a while but he/she is out there.
















Monday, 18 March 2013

Birthday,boy stuff & bickering.......

It was my birthday.....I'm so not a birthday person ...but... i think seeing for most of my milestone birthdays i have been pregnant... i might have a MASSIVE 40th.....but I'm only 35.
Its hard i share my birthday with my beautiful sister so never really had a day "to myself" really. I also make sure the boys celebrate their days but i just view it as another day really. I'm not too hung up on "getting older" 40 excites me...i think i have more energy now that what i had when i was 20....sounds weird but i think the craziness of having 4 boys keeps me very active.....mind you I'm sleep deprived and have been for about 4 years now....YAWN.

experienced my first year 8 Marist parent teacher yesterday HOLY MOLEY!!!! talk about organised. and run like every 7 mins i got gonged to move onto my next teacher that took me more than 7 minutes to fine....yikes. So i was late SHOCK HORROR...i had my list off teacher in my hand and basically ran to the gym....great sight i can tell you that. first meeting MATHS my fav subject...NOT.
great teacher went through toms maths test that 150% went straight over my head ,but i smiled and nodded like i was the maths genius i am....he he. 

Cut a long story short the reasoning behind Tom making me see all 6 teachers was because he got a glowing report....whew praise the lord. and is getting a B in every subject ...double Whew!!!! his was done....thank goodness.

Then i had to pick up Jonah who had been to swimming with grandad as i couldn't be in 2 places at the one time....I am good...but unfortunately I'm not that good.
so grabbed him dropped them home then got straight back into the car for Jonah's parent teacher interview...i actually had 5 mins spare waiting so of course i check facebook and check my emails...thank you IPHONE for making my life a tiny bit easier......Jonahs interview great also talked about extending him with his reading etc so all was good i even took a few notes on my scrappy piece of paper i had the whole afternoon's events scribbled on and also Eli;s scribble that i had to read through...looked like a dogs breakfast...got home Dave was finishing up dinner he had sent my mum home who i think was ready to be committed after having Eli and Tate for 2 hours for me....note to self split those two up.

i missed dinner...whoops. had a cuppa tea does that count?


the joys.....here is a pic of the communication between Thomas and i....he had a lesson on Friday about "thy shall never say OI to my mum!" little horror. Now today hes lost his English draft.....good old mum will find it...!

XXX